Dear Dean of Admissions,

I have carefully reviewed your letter of rejection from the University. After much consideration, I regret that I am unable to shout in anger, cry in despair, or produce any other kind of strong reaction, only left with stale look of complacence. In process of reviewing the rejection, I am well aware that I have already received an acceptance from my first choice university (i.e.: not you guys), and while you were reviewing my application, which is one of the worst systems I have ever come across, I was celebrating jovially, talking with my friends about my triumphs, and making plans for September. Given the nature and excruciating difficulty of your application website, which required around five odd essays, one of them asking a question I could have answered with a mere sentence. (i.e.: I was only interested in your school not because it had any intellectual value, only because it had a very high ranking on the U.S. News and World Report), I simply must say: words fail me when it comes to the amount of pretension that I have seen in your University.

I recognize that this letter does not come as a disappointment to me; rather, I think just the opposite. Nevertheless, I encourage you to make your future plans of making more High School Seniors suffer for weeks on end with the same vanity and arrogance that led you to lure me into filling out your discombobulating application form.

I appreciate your kind words and grave concern that you have shown towards me in your letter of rejection. Accept my unadulterated indifference towards your decision.

Yours Truly,
Bernard Feng
College-bound Student